I'M SORRY MY LOVE By Sipho Mlambo

There’s nothing I desire more than being with you, there’s nothing I value more than having to hold your hand and know you mine, I know sometimes I can be a jerk, sometimes I can be childish, I forget that I have everything I need to live a happy life, which is you… I’ve broken your heart before, I’ve broken your trust before, I’ve broken your smile, I’ve fought with you till no strength was lost, I’ve betrayed you every now and then but still you stood by me…. I know that love is just words but true love is the words in action… I have not been the best boyfriend or lover to you lately, this is not because I don’t love you, it’s because I’ve been leaving on the edge that you might leave me anytime…. The reason why I just get angry over small stuff is because I just think the past is yet to repeat itself, it’ better for me to protect myself before I get hurt again… The reason why I leave in the edge of losing you, that you might leave me anytime, is because every time I’m with you, I feel happy, I feel loved, but the moment you leave, all those pictures come back of you with another guy, smiling and happy…. And this makes me to feel useless in life, it makes me feel like a stupid as if I don’t deserve anything good… I Love you and I know and believe that I will never love someone else like this again…. I’m sorry for not truly being there for you, for destroying our love…. I AM TRULY SORRY for going to other girls, it is something I do, not because I love them or I want to be with them, but do it because I think if you not with me I can remove these negative thoughts of being useless, I can close the gap of being stupid and feel loved, which is something not working out… I know you tell me you love me every time, I look deep into your eyes and see that you truly mean it, but the moment you turn and I can’t see deep in your eyes, the same fear I had last week arises, the same fear I had last month, last year, arises and I feel like you going to leave me… I thought being with these other girls can kill that fear, but instead of killing it, they just come between us, and try to destroy our love and trust…. I Love you with all my heart I hope you know that, and believe that…. I promise from now on, I will trust you, as long as you know deep down your heart that you will not hurt me…. I promise to stop all nonsense that I’ve been doing and focus on you…  I’ve been ruled by this fear, I ended up drinking alcohol just to remove tis pain and fear…. And I stopped when you came back to me because I found comfort…

I love you and I hope you also do… from now on I’m putting my guard off and will fully trust YOU AGAIN..i love you and I will always do…